My Easter Holidays

The Easter Bunny

I really do enjoy the Easter holidays. It’s one of my favourite times of the year.

I didn’t really do any excessive celebrations I just spent some time chilling with my family. I received lovely Easter eggs from my parents. I got Thomas the Tank Engine, a Mars collection and a white Easter bunny chocolate. I’ve already scoffed down the chocolate bars and the Thomas Easter egg. They were divine. Yum. I couldn’t eat the other chocolate. I can’t really eat lots of chocolate once. I’m more of a health freak then a chocolate freak, except on Easter Sunday. Haha.

I did go on an impromptu bike ride around my Dad’s garage… I fell down 5 or 6 times. I scraped my knee and hands but the hot water from the kitchen tap soon cured those bruises. The last time I rode a bike was when I was 15, possibly younger. We are speaking more than 10 years ago. Haha.

I made a bit of a mistake recently when I washed some clothes.

Apparently, when you wash woollens, you add the detergent but not the fabric softener as the softener breaks up the fibres in the wool. However, I’ve been adding the fabric softener and not the detergent. Basically, I’ve been doing it the wrong way round. Haha. It’s funny to talk about but I was really annoyed when I’ve found out that I’ve been washing woollens wrong all this time. I used to be really sensitive when I thought that I’ve done something wrong and it used to be a big issue. However, in this case, instead of being upset I was just annoyed with myself for a matter of moments. Haha.

I’m still somewhat sensitive when it comes to getting things wrong, but I handle it a lot then I did when I was younger. =)

I watched the anime ‘Is It Wrong to Try to Pick Up Girls in a Dungeon?’ The first episode is really awesome and I’m eagerly waiting for episode two. =D I also watched ‘Only Fools and Horses’, the one about the Jolly Boys’ Outing. =D I think that’s a great episode, it’s like all guys going on a huge trip together with no girls allowed. Haha. I suppose you could compare the Jolly Boys to the Inbetweeners movies but in the 1980s. I did watch a little of Ant and Dec’s Saturday Night Takeaway. I don’t go out of my own way to watch Ant and Dec but I do watch some of the bits that I find amusing. =)

I also spent plenty of time watching the Football. There were some really good goals this week. The Charlie Adam goal was a proper scorcher, I couldn’t believe he had the audacity to attempt that shot from long range. I was convinced that he was going to miss, but he didn’t. Bobby Zamora’s goal I think was special. Not many can score from the outside of their foot, especially from that angle. Jermain Defoe’s goal for Sunderland this week was really good as well. He looked really emotional after he scored that and he really lifted the Sunderland fans.^^/

I’m now spending this time watching White Chicks followed by Match of the Day 2 and Skyfall. I can’t listen to the song ‘A Thousand Miles’ without being reminded of White Chicks. Haha. =D Skyfall is pretty awesome too, but it does have a bittersweet ending.^^/

Happy Easter everyone. =)

Namaste.^^/

Ryan

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Grudges

ImageGood Friday! ^^/

 

Are you the type of person who holds grudges? I was, I had many in fact.

 

Growing up was painful in many aspects, especially if you can’t communicate well. I sometimes would say things that were rude and not realise that they were rude. Or, I said things I knew were rude but I didn’t know how to explain myself. I was a bit scared to explain why I said things in case I was being judged. I didn’t want to do anything that was deemed as “wrong” or do anything to tarnish my ‘polite gentleman’ reputation known to everyone.

 

It did feel that I was often judged because of the things I said. I would receive a stern telling off for being “rude” and “ignorant” and generally having no manners. I was always fighting a losing battle and not being able to explain my actions was extremely painful and it somewhat scarred me. Later on in life I received harsher warnings and criticisms if I made a mistake or messed something up that put everyone out.

 

So, I ended up having a grudge against many people, especially my teachers. From my point of view they showed no interest in trying to understand my needs. Or rather, they thought they knew me but really they didn’t know a thing. I felt they were being cruel for no reason. It was always a losing battle. I would sit back and let them tell me off for being “rude” because I knew if I attempted to explain, or I would be accused of “answering back”.  It always a ‘heads you win, tales, I lose’ situation.

 

They looked from their point of view and never tried to look from mine. Did they think that I wanted to be rude? How did they think I would feel when they were constantly reminding me of my mistakes? It’s not like I ever intended to be rude or deliberately get things wrong. So, why did everyone have to yell at me for doing something or saying something unintentional? Many emotions and many thoughts ran amok through my mind.

 

I think really, because it was an SEN school we were bought up to be polite “ladies” and polite “gentlemen”. When we greeted anyone, we were expected to shake hands as it was the “right thing” to do. But realistically shaking hands would only happen during formal occasions not on a daily basis. All in all I think that they were trying hard to make me into a “man” that they lost sight of me as a person. So, if I said anything “rude” or did anything “wrong” my teachers were quick to let me know.

 

As you can imagine, I had little confidence when I left school. I was scared to have my own personality and make friends with people in case I was judged or I said the wrong thing. This is where some of my grudges came from. I had a grudge towards many people as I felt I was never given the freedom to be myself, instead, I had to act in different ways to meet certain people’s “expectations.”

 

Now I’m a lot older I realised, naturally, that there are many people with many colourful personalities. So, why could I not have my own personality? My confidence sky rocketed towards the latter part of my Uni days and I like to think that I have an identity that I call my own. Many different people accepted me for the person I was and this made me feel more confident about myself.  I gradually relaxed more and made some friends. =)

 

It still felt bitter though, because I felt that I did miss out on making friends in my younger days.  Not now though. How I am right now has nothing to do with my past self. I’m in a good place and I have no need to bear grudges against the “scars” of my past. We can think about the past, we can consider what happens tomorrow but we all actually live for the moment. So that’s why I’m no longer caught up with living in the past. I am here, right now, sharing this story with a smile on my face. I’m in a good frame of mind.

 

It’s important to bear in mind that people who misunderstood me did not necessarily act out of malice, but out of ignorance and lack of consideration. That’s how I see it.

 

Ahem-

 

I’m not thinking about the past (at least until I was writing this blog, haha) I’m thinking; which food shall I eat now? Which new Anime shall I watch now? I hope Date A Live is available on Crunchyroll. Should I re-watch D-Frag? I fancy writing some notes of my story. I partly fancy drawing a fanart of Kirisaki Onodera from Nisekoi: False Love. I also want to watch the Simpsons on Sky One. Haha.

 

What do I feel like doing now?

 

That’s the question I always ask myself, and it’s the question that I’m asking myself right now. =D I felt like writing this blog so I wrote this blog in the given moment. But this moment is going to turn old in ten minutes time. So that’s why I never think about the past or future, I just live for the now. =)

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Easter is finally here. =D I’m going to have a hot cross bun for dinner, will you? I wonder if the Easter Bunny will bring me chocolate this year? I guess I’ll find out next week. Haha!

 

Hope you have a wonderful weekend and a wonderful Easter.

 

Namaste^^/

Ryan