My Website Goes Live

Ryan Speakman Website

Summer Tidings everyone.^^/

With encouragement from my family I have decided to open up a website that’s all about me. I feel like, and my friends and family agree, that I have more to offer than writing and blogging. On my site I talk about my hobbies and passion for writing, I show my photography and art and of course my blog.

As I have my very own website now I have decided to concentrate my blogging posts about autism, anime and my thoughts in general over there instead of here on the WordPress site.

I have always thought about having my very own website but I never really had the confidence to get my face out there, especially on the internet… until now. Over the years, my confidence has grown. Not only am I opening up about my autism I actually talk about my daily experiences in social situations and I’m showing my fan art across the net. Showing my art has especially been a concern of mine since I was younger. Nowadays those worries are behind me.

WordPress was the platform for me to start blogging and to me there’s no better way to start. I found that my confidence soured and I felt like my writing has improved every single time I write up a new post.

If you like to check out my new website, here is the link.

www.ryanspeakman.co.uk

Thank you to everyone who has been taking an interest in my blogs so far. I enjoy what I’m writing but it’s a bonus knowing that some you enjoy reading them. It makes my blogging experience all the more enjoyable.

Thanks for Reading. =)

Namaste.^^/

Ryan.

Negativity to Positivity: Thinking Rationally

Mr Happy

Snow Tidings.^^/

I’m having a good start to the New Year. Unfortunately though my cold has come back, and I put that down to the fact that my home town has welcomed heaps of snow. It’s rather unfortunate as when I get a cold I tend to lack sleep and do a lot of over-thinking. In my case being unwell means not really thinking rationally.

I consider myself quite chilled and I can usually let things go and take each moment as it comes. However, when my body and mind is not functioning properly I do sometimes feel negative and re-visit past events which weren’t necessarily happy times. Sometimes it’s not necessarily re-visiting past events, it can be the little things that make me worry and feel negative, even if they’re not major issues.

Just now I was spoilt for choice which manga to read. I wanted to read all five at once and I wanted to watch anime as well, but I couldn’t decide what to do. Thus, I got myself a little worked up and was worrying unnecessarily. Worrying about this simple thing makes me worry about things that worried me in the past as well. It can be a recent worry or something from some time ago. Either way I tend to feel negative when I’m very tired and/or under the weather. I then worry because I’m sitting here and worry about worrying. Haha.

Normally I can think rationally but when I’m under the weather thinking rationally can be tough because my mind is not thinking straight. When I try to think rationally my mind gets really blurry because my mind is combating with many emotions and thoughts at once. Really, in this case, it’s easy to just try and force them out of your mind. But, I find that if I tell myself “don’t worry about it” I worry about it more because it’s still on my mind. Every little thing becomes a big deal.

But, even if the little things make me worry, it’s the little things that cheer me up. In this case, stuff like Non Non Biyori. I mentioned this anime heaps of times in previous blogs. I really do like this anime and I dare say that it’s probably my favourite anime of all time. If it isn’t then it’s definitely in my Top Five of my favourite anime. My feelings of watching Non Non for the first time is similar to the feelings of when I first watched Thomas the Tank Engine for the first time. I was simply excited when I heard that Seven Seas are going to publish Non Non this June and I can’t wait until it comes out.

Watching Non Non makes me forget about the little things that I’m worrying about. And gradually, those worries disappear. It’s not just Non Non that cheers me up, a bunch of little things cheer me up. I’m talking about drawing my comics, writing my story, reading manga and hanging out with my family. It doesn’t make me less dizzy but it does take the sting out of being under the weather. I feel relaxed when doing these things. Relaxing to me means being happy and focusing on things I like to do. And, I need to remind myself to go to bed early instead of staying up just for the sake of it. Haha.

THANKS FOR READING

 Non Non Biyori Wallpaper

My mission for now is to keep warm and keep enjoying myself. Publishing my book onto kindle is taking quite some time but I won’t worry about that. Feeling negative when you’re ill I think is natural and it can be difficult to get out of that slump… but it’s not impossible. =) I’m now going to go away and watch some Nisekoi. =D

Thanks for reading.

Namaste.^^/

Ryan.

Feeling Lucky

Non Non Biyori Wallpaper

Good Tidings.^^/

It’s been an awfully long time since I attended a yoga class. It’s both due to the Christmas period and coming down with a cold. I’m going to yoga tomorrow for the first time and I’m feeling somewhat anxious. I enjoy yoga but because I’ve not been for a good while I started to feel anxious as it’s currently out of routine. However, this evening, I felt a sudden ray of happiness.

I was cleaning my room and I suddenly realised what a lucky life I have. Apart from the minor cold, I have good health. I have a nice family and good friends. I also have a bunch of manga and anime goodies, including drama CDs, manga, a few figures and a heap of Thomas the Tank Engine memorabilia. I also have a bunch of DVDs and blu-rays of Iron Man and Captain America. I have a bunch of games from Super Mario to Atelier Escha and Logy to Senran Kagura. I also have the Non Non Biyori calendar 2015, which I’m especially thankful about. =D

What I’m especially thankful for is my own creativity. I can draw any time, write any time, and come up with the next story as I see fit. I can also use this opportunity to write a bunch of haikus whenever I feel inspired. The world is my oyster when it comes to being creative. =D

What I’m trying to say is that sometimes when I become familiar with everyday life I sometimes forget that I’m in a very good position in life. I would have said that I probably take things for granted but I don’t take things for granted, I just forget how lucky I am. So, next time I’m I’m feeling anxious, which will always occur every time I go out, I will remind myself the life that I’m living. And that is a happy one. =)

Thanks for reading.

Namaste.^^/

Ryan.

Being Assertive

Enlightenment in nature

My confidence in socialising is growing. I’m also getting a knack with dealing with situations appropriately. If someone makes a rude quip I always tend to ignore it. Sure, I may get irritated for those next five minutes but I always manage to hold my tongue. However, what can be a challenge or what was a challenge is not getting on the bad side of others.

I was timid when I was at school and college. I was often afraid of disappointing or upsetting someone. If someone flirted with me, I’d let them even though sometimes I felt uncomfortable. If someone asked me to vacate my chair, I would. And if someone gave me a pound and asked me to do them a favour and get a snack for them, I would. I never did this to be popular, I did this so I didn’t disappoint. I built myself a reputation of making people happy, I felt like I had to do these things.

Throughout the years I did learn to be assertive and say ‘no.’ One time at college a drunken man stopped me during my walk and asked if I could give him a pound so he could buy a pint. I said, ‘no’ and walked on. The dude and his friend cursed after me as I walked on… I felt rather shaken after this. It’s not often that I said no but everyone I talked to said that I did the right thing. I felt better after this.

My confidence in saying ‘no’ did boost and made me feel empowered.^^/

I learnt that you don’t have to make others happy by humiliating or degrading yourself. That’s not what it means to make others happy. Making others happy means being nice to them and cheering them up if they need perking up. Those who force you to do things or pass judgement on you are not worth your time or energy. If they disapprove of you not wanting to do what they ask, that’s their problem.

I joined Instagram as one of my favourite past times is photography. This provides me with the opportunity to show everyone how I view world and things that make me happy. From time to time I get the odd user that would ask “follow 4 follow?” I.E., if you follow me on Instagram then I’ll follow you back. I’m flattered that someone would take their time to write a message on one of my photos. However, I have no interest in gaining followers just for the sake of it.

5 years ago I would have given into pressure and followed the user, anxious that he/she may disapprove if I didn’t comply. Now, however, I have no such worries. The only people that I’m following are those who I know in real life and those who are my real life friends. I do follow Charlton Athletic’s official Instagram page but they are a special exception. ^^/ If someone I don’t know wants to follow me, that’s no problem, but I don’t have any intention of following someone who I don’t know. It’s nothing personal; it’s just how I feel. That and it was never my intention of getting the most followers or being the most popular. My intention was to show the photos that I’m proud to show to the world. =)

Of course I still want to make others happy, it’s who I am. But, you shouldn’t have to degrade yourself in order to make others happy. If they have a low opinion of you or disapprove of you standing your ground, that’s their issue, not yours. =)

THANKS FOR READING

Non Non Biyori Wallpaper

I’m having a good day today. I watched some Football and the High School DxD Blu-Ray (stay tuned for a future anime review). I also heard that Monster Musume has topped the New York Times charts once again. Go MonMusu! =D

I anticipated that my next blog would be about anime, but I felt like writing this blog on the spur of the moment.

26 days and Christmas is here. =)

Thanks for reading.^^/

Hohoho,

Ryan.