Negativity to Positivity: Thinking Rationally

Mr Happy

Snow Tidings.^^/

I’m having a good start to the New Year. Unfortunately though my cold has come back, and I put that down to the fact that my home town has welcomed heaps of snow. It’s rather unfortunate as when I get a cold I tend to lack sleep and do a lot of over-thinking. In my case being unwell means not really thinking rationally.

I consider myself quite chilled and I can usually let things go and take each moment as it comes. However, when my body and mind is not functioning properly I do sometimes feel negative and re-visit past events which weren’t necessarily happy times. Sometimes it’s not necessarily re-visiting past events, it can be the little things that make me worry and feel negative, even if they’re not major issues.

Just now I was spoilt for choice which manga to read. I wanted to read all five at once and I wanted to watch anime as well, but I couldn’t decide what to do. Thus, I got myself a little worked up and was worrying unnecessarily. Worrying about this simple thing makes me worry about things that worried me in the past as well. It can be a recent worry or something from some time ago. Either way I tend to feel negative when I’m very tired and/or under the weather. I then worry because I’m sitting here and worry about worrying. Haha.

Normally I can think rationally but when I’m under the weather thinking rationally can be tough because my mind is not thinking straight. When I try to think rationally my mind gets really blurry because my mind is combating with many emotions and thoughts at once. Really, in this case, it’s easy to just try and force them out of your mind. But, I find that if I tell myself “don’t worry about it” I worry about it more because it’s still on my mind. Every little thing becomes a big deal.

But, even if the little things make me worry, it’s the little things that cheer me up. In this case, stuff like Non Non Biyori. I mentioned this anime heaps of times in previous blogs. I really do like this anime and I dare say that it’s probably my favourite anime of all time. If it isn’t then it’s definitely in my Top Five of my favourite anime. My feelings of watching Non Non for the first time is similar to the feelings of when I first watched Thomas the Tank Engine for the first time. I was simply excited when I heard that Seven Seas are going to publish Non Non this June and I can’t wait until it comes out.

Watching Non Non makes me forget about the little things that I’m worrying about. And gradually, those worries disappear. It’s not just Non Non that cheers me up, a bunch of little things cheer me up. I’m talking about drawing my comics, writing my story, reading manga and hanging out with my family. It doesn’t make me less dizzy but it does take the sting out of being under the weather. I feel relaxed when doing these things. Relaxing to me means being happy and focusing on things I like to do. And, I need to remind myself to go to bed early instead of staying up just for the sake of it. Haha.

THANKS FOR READING

 Non Non Biyori Wallpaper

My mission for now is to keep warm and keep enjoying myself. Publishing my book onto kindle is taking quite some time but I won’t worry about that. Feeling negative when you’re ill I think is natural and it can be difficult to get out of that slump… but it’s not impossible. =) I’m now going to go away and watch some Nisekoi. =D

Thanks for reading.

Namaste.^^/

Ryan.

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Feeling Lucky

Non Non Biyori Wallpaper

Good Tidings.^^/

It’s been an awfully long time since I attended a yoga class. It’s both due to the Christmas period and coming down with a cold. I’m going to yoga tomorrow for the first time and I’m feeling somewhat anxious. I enjoy yoga but because I’ve not been for a good while I started to feel anxious as it’s currently out of routine. However, this evening, I felt a sudden ray of happiness.

I was cleaning my room and I suddenly realised what a lucky life I have. Apart from the minor cold, I have good health. I have a nice family and good friends. I also have a bunch of manga and anime goodies, including drama CDs, manga, a few figures and a heap of Thomas the Tank Engine memorabilia. I also have a bunch of DVDs and blu-rays of Iron Man and Captain America. I have a bunch of games from Super Mario to Atelier Escha and Logy to Senran Kagura. I also have the Non Non Biyori calendar 2015, which I’m especially thankful about. =D

What I’m especially thankful for is my own creativity. I can draw any time, write any time, and come up with the next story as I see fit. I can also use this opportunity to write a bunch of haikus whenever I feel inspired. The world is my oyster when it comes to being creative. =D

What I’m trying to say is that sometimes when I become familiar with everyday life I sometimes forget that I’m in a very good position in life. I would have said that I probably take things for granted but I don’t take things for granted, I just forget how lucky I am. So, next time I’m I’m feeling anxious, which will always occur every time I go out, I will remind myself the life that I’m living. And that is a happy one. =)

Thanks for reading.

Namaste.^^/

Ryan.

Being Assertive

Enlightenment in nature

My confidence in socialising is growing. I’m also getting a knack with dealing with situations appropriately. If someone makes a rude quip I always tend to ignore it. Sure, I may get irritated for those next five minutes but I always manage to hold my tongue. However, what can be a challenge or what was a challenge is not getting on the bad side of others.

I was timid when I was at school and college. I was often afraid of disappointing or upsetting someone. If someone flirted with me, I’d let them even though sometimes I felt uncomfortable. If someone asked me to vacate my chair, I would. And if someone gave me a pound and asked me to do them a favour and get a snack for them, I would. I never did this to be popular, I did this so I didn’t disappoint. I built myself a reputation of making people happy, I felt like I had to do these things.

Throughout the years I did learn to be assertive and say ‘no.’ One time at college a drunken man stopped me during my walk and asked if I could give him a pound so he could buy a pint. I said, ‘no’ and walked on. The dude and his friend cursed after me as I walked on… I felt rather shaken after this. It’s not often that I said no but everyone I talked to said that I did the right thing. I felt better after this.

My confidence in saying ‘no’ did boost and made me feel empowered.^^/

I learnt that you don’t have to make others happy by humiliating or degrading yourself. That’s not what it means to make others happy. Making others happy means being nice to them and cheering them up if they need perking up. Those who force you to do things or pass judgement on you are not worth your time or energy. If they disapprove of you not wanting to do what they ask, that’s their problem.

I joined Instagram as one of my favourite past times is photography. This provides me with the opportunity to show everyone how I view world and things that make me happy. From time to time I get the odd user that would ask “follow 4 follow?” I.E., if you follow me on Instagram then I’ll follow you back. I’m flattered that someone would take their time to write a message on one of my photos. However, I have no interest in gaining followers just for the sake of it.

5 years ago I would have given into pressure and followed the user, anxious that he/she may disapprove if I didn’t comply. Now, however, I have no such worries. The only people that I’m following are those who I know in real life and those who are my real life friends. I do follow Charlton Athletic’s official Instagram page but they are a special exception. ^^/ If someone I don’t know wants to follow me, that’s no problem, but I don’t have any intention of following someone who I don’t know. It’s nothing personal; it’s just how I feel. That and it was never my intention of getting the most followers or being the most popular. My intention was to show the photos that I’m proud to show to the world. =)

Of course I still want to make others happy, it’s who I am. But, you shouldn’t have to degrade yourself in order to make others happy. If they have a low opinion of you or disapprove of you standing your ground, that’s their issue, not yours. =)

THANKS FOR READING

Non Non Biyori Wallpaper

I’m having a good day today. I watched some Football and the High School DxD Blu-Ray (stay tuned for a future anime review). I also heard that Monster Musume has topped the New York Times charts once again. Go MonMusu! =D

I anticipated that my next blog would be about anime, but I felt like writing this blog on the spur of the moment.

26 days and Christmas is here. =)

Thanks for reading.^^/

Hohoho,

Ryan.

Smile

Mr Happy

Joyful Greetings.^^/

I try to show the positivity through my smile. I’m not always natural when it comes to smiling though, more specifically, I’m not natural when it comes to smiling outdoors.

I’m always too conscious of my surroundings to feel relaxed. When I come across someone in the street and they catch my eye, I usually two things… I would either look at them for a few seconds, waiting them to smile and I return the smile. Or, I would smile at them, but, my smile is actually a half-hearted grin… I sort of feel conscious when I look at someone and not smile. It makes me wonder if they think that I’m actually staring at them whilst plotting something evil in my brain. Granted, I always find it easier to smile at a pretty lady, but that’s another story!

Anyway-

Smiling is a very important part of life. For me, when someone smiles at me, I automatically smile back, and feeling very good about myself. In a way, a smile is like a greeting, just none verbal. When someone smiles at me, it literally makes me happier and makes me feel better about myself.

I smile all the time at home and when I’m hanging out with friends. There’s never a day or occasion goes by when I haven’t laughed. So, if smiling makes me feel better, then surely the same could apply to everyone else. So, as awkward as it can be for me, I try to smile at everyone, from family to strangers.

I smiled at a lot at my Sister’s wedding, to a lot of people. I especially smiled to those who I didn’t recognise. It boosted my confidence when the people returned my glance with a smile. Of course the wedding was a bit stressful for me, but, being smiled at has certainly lifted my spirits. =)

What I learned from socialising is that you don’t have to wait for people to initiate a smile before you return it in kind. If you feel like smiling at someone, then you should do it. They may not feel like smiling back as they could be going through time themselves. But, if you smile at that person, you might brighten their day, because they certainly brighten mine.

These are the reasons why I think smiling is quite an important part of life. Making people happy, seeing people happy is what makes me happy. =)

THANKS FOR READING

I saw an amazing quote today on a web page.

“If you have to choose between being kind and being right, choose being kind and you will always be right.”

This very quote made me smile even more. =)

Thanks for reading.

Namaste.^^/

Ryan

Negativity to Positivity: Over-Thinking

keep-calm-and-think-happy-thoughts-9

Autumn Tidings! ^^/

Over-thinking does play a part in my life when my subconscious allows it to. Haha. I’m in a very good place in life and I used to be a right pro when it came to over-thinking. Now, I’m just a semi-pro. Haha.

  1. Why I Over-Think

I probably over-think because it’s part of my Autism. Not understanding generalisation or summarising situations is a common trait in Autism. It’s also one of my own personal Autistic quirks. I would say problems but I don’t really see it as a “problem” but more as a personality trait.

I used to especially over-think due to my lack of experience in society. Sometimes if someone new had a banter with me or made a quip I would tend to read into it more than necessary. I would especially read into stuff as being a sensitive soul I would get upset if I felt like I had said something wrong or made someone upset. Every time something like this occurred, I would recount these events with my family and they always reassured me that “there’s nothing in that, it’s just banter”. In my younger days, I understood what they were saying and I somewhat became reassured. But, since I lacked social experience and if I didn’t know that person, there was always a doubt in my mind as to whether the things my family members were saying was right…

When I was at University and after University, I started to compose my thoughts in this regard. Why should I let someone else’s views and personality make me miserable? Why should I give into negative energy when I can fill it with the things I like?

What I’m saying it is that you shouldn’t worry about what others think of you and you shouldn’t go out of your comfort zone for the sake of impressing them. If a person, whether it’s a friend or stranger has a problem with you or your ‘quirks’ then that’s their issue to deal with. It’s not your issue, and you shouldn’t allow yourself to be caught up in it, as hard as it might be. It’s especially hard for those who like to please others. I will always be nice to everyone, even if they don’t share the positive attitude I have.

Everyone has needs that they struggle to cope with, some more than others. I went to Yoga this morning and there were quite a lot of yogi students there. =) For all I know the attendees are going through some rough patches. I don’t know for certain but one never knows what goes through the mind of others. That’s why I always think it’s important to be nice to everyone, whether they’re the happiest person in the world or the most miserable.

  1. Over-Thinking Unnecessarily

I’ve grown wiser when it comes to making small talk with strangers. I still occasionally don’t understand jokes or understand banter. However, I’ve made some friends in my time and have started to understand their humour and personalities. By understanding them as people I’m able to get a better idea of the meaning behind their words and banter. Because of this I don’t get as sensitive or upset. Well, I’m still sensitive to a degree as it’s good to be understanding of others.

There’s currently nothing in life for me to worry about or get anxious about. However, the way my mind works is this… if there’s nothing for me to get anxious or worried about then my mind will home in to my subconscious and pick out something to worry about. Haha. Now, for example, I keep on getting worried about the Naruto anime. Before, in my mind, it was just small matters like, ‘oh dear, is Naruto going to die?’ and ‘it’s sad that the manga is coming to an end.’

But, because there’s nothing for me to worry about, I started to worry and become sad about Naruto ending. It’s becoming a bigger issue then it should. I’m very aware of how my mind works so every time these thoughts come into my mind I immediately counter attack it. Or, I imagine a box, put Naruto in that box, put it in water, and allow it to travel down the stream and drop down the waterfall. XD I also draw, write my story and listen to the Non Non Biyori soundtrack.

With a calm mind I’m able to think rationally and logically about Naruto. It’s indeed sad that the manga is ending but I’m watching the Naruto Shippuden anime so I don’t feel so bad. Right! That’s that situation sorted. 😉 No doubt these will become recurring thoughts but I always have battle plans in place. =)

  1. Anticipating the Future

What makes me over-think as well is when I anticipate future events. I don’t handle spur of the moments too well. I feel more anxious when I’m invited out on the spur of the moment rather than when something has been pre-arranged. With future outings I tend to picture the worst case scenario. I also get it in my head how I’m going to feel at the time and anticipate situations that I’m going to get into. Of course, I have learned over recent years that it’s better to take things as they come. Why anticipate a situation when we don’t know what’s going to happen in the future. With that thought in mind, I feel relaxed.

We’re living in the present so we should enjoy things in the moment regardless of what memories we created or what plans we have for the future. =)

  1. Random Fact

I keep on saying Great Almond Street instead of Great Ormond Street… I can’t seem to be able to get out of that habit no matter how many times I correct myself.

THANKS FOR READING

WarningYoga

I’m really enjoying Yoga and the instructor’s style of teaching. I feel really good now but I am certain I’m going to feel achy tomorrow. Haha. The Yogi instructor does a class on Monday mornings and I’m considering going to that class. But, that would mean me going to class by myself. I don’t think I’m ready for that at this moment in time.^^/

Thanks for reading.

Namaste.^^/

Ryan

My Yoga Journey

Meditation-Yoga-pose

Good Day.^^/

It was a sad occasion Wednesday evening. For the last year,  my sister and I have been going to a certain yoga class and we have both experienced many benefits from attending the classes. However, it was the last time that our Yoga instructor was going to teach at that specific venue. I figured I would take this opportunity to summarise my experience since attending yoga classes.

*

I had been practising Yoga before actually attending any classes. It is said that Yoga is very therapeutic. I’ve never really looked at yoga from that point of view as I saw it as another form of a work-out. Even on YouTube there’s plenty of Yoga stretches and they are far from therapeutic.

One day my sister fancied doing Yoga at this particular gym. She asked if I wanted to try yoga or perhaps Pilates. I was in two minds as to whether I wanted to go or not. It was a new place with a bunch of people that I’ve never seen before so it was venturing into the unknown. I don’t like new places or sudden changes or new environments and I didn’t know how I would handle going there. It’s difficult for me, and it’s in these situations when my Autistic quirks come to the surface. My Autism does bring out the worst of me at times. It’s nothing to be ashamed of as it’s part of who I am.

However, I decided to give it a go in the end. What was the worst that could happen? It was a good thing that my sister was there as I had support from a relative and a familiar face. Ahem- they say that yoga is relaxing. All I had ever received was the physical benefits rather than being rewarded with the emotional or mental benefits… until I went that night.

It was a fairly closed environment. The lights were dim, the candles were lit and the Buddha statue was present. The Yoga Instructor came up to me and spoke very kindly to me. She recognised that I was new so she came over to say hi. It’s no lie or exaggeration to say that I was apprehensive since it’s a new place. I really appreciate the instructor taking the time to speak to me, and my sister for that matter. I felt more accustomed and relaxed after that. We even spoke after the first practice… I felt more encouraged to attend. =)

It was that first night that I started to reap the benefits of having a relaxed mind whilst emitting positive vibes. I can never truly calm my mind though since my mind is extremely active. When I’m relaxed I tend to visualise the things that I like, in this case, I kept visualizing myself swimming with mermaids. XD It’s weird, I know, but that’s one of the t things that relaxes me. 😉

*

I have attended every Wednesday since my first night.

Through all those times I noticed a difference to when I had practiced yoga before and during the lessons. Before I attended, yoga was just a workout so I did all those exercises for physical endurance. However, when I attended yoga and I did all those exact same exercises, the feeling was different. I was happier and experienced a feeling of tranquillity… I posed in super hard positions but yet I felt very relaxed. Why was this? I deduce that it was the environment and my new found attitude to Yoga.

Years ago, if I had joined a gym, I would have seen yoga as a competition. In my school I was always under pressure to do my best and one wrong answer or tiny failure was never an option. If I got one question wrong I would get upset. The same applied to P.E. P.E. was my most disliked subject, because of the competition. Competition brought out of the worst in me and I would avoid it as much as I could, because I knew how I would feel and handle the situation. I knew how I would handle things, but controlling my emotions was no easy task.

Nowadays I realise that I have nothing to prove to anyone. Yoga was not a competition; it’s all about, to me, finding your own inner-peace. It’s about being positive and looking on the positive side of life. That’s not to say that we’re naïve and we ignore all the dangers and bad stuff in the world, but it’s about accepting vices and faults and not worrying what we can’t change. If you can’t change it, why worry?

Negative people tend to focus on the things they hate, whereas positive people focus on the things they love. I always think about happy things and I have a very good life. Being happy, as I learned from yoga, is another form of relaxation. I’m always going to worry about little things due to my Autistic quirks but it’s reassuring to know that I have battle plans in place where I can conquer the negative thoughts with my positive thoughts any time. =)

*

When it was time to visualise tranquil scenes I thought about my own tranquil scenes. When the yoga instructor told me to think about green I would always imagine myself laying on grass and breathing the leaves that fall from the trees. Like, as if I’m on a tropical island near mountains. XD For yellow I pictured the sun, and for blue I pictured water. So, I have my own unique interpretation, as daft as it sounds. Haha.

*

Me and my sister always situated ourselves near the bikes… how we ended up there, I don’t know! I think we probably kept in the corner because it was the only place available to dock. We just got used to it. It was uncomfortable sometimes as we kept on hitting the bikes but there was nowhere else I would rather have been! w Haha.

*

As a bonus I became flexible through my hips and legs whilst increasing my balancing skills. I can physically turn door knobs and open doors with my feet! If I have a cup of tea in one hand and a basket of clothes in the other then I would raise my foot, turn the door knob, and walk through the door. I can even pick stuff off my floor without bending down. So, I may be talking about the emotional benefits but I definitely have come a long way physically as well. Haha.

I’m thankful to yoga. Before I was making a physical connection but now I have a mental and emotional connection with yoga. However I feel that the Yoga Instructor helped me more. If it wasn’t for her being impeccably kind and understanding then I’m not sure if I would have enjoyed yoga as much.

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I will definitely carry on my yoga practice with this same mind set  =)

Thanks for reading.

Namaste.^^/

Ryan

Familiarity and the World Cup England Match

Image

Footy Tidings.^^/

 

Like most people with Autism I like familiarity, especially when I go out to badminton and yoga. It’s not just about familiarity with the same people; it involves a number of factors. What clothes I will be wearing, what time I will be going, for how long, what I will need to take with me, who is it to pay and what shuttlecocks we will be using. It may surprise you but with us Autistic folks, the smallest of things can actually be the biggest.

 

With yoga last night, I was out of my comfort zone. A new yogi instructor was present in place of Callie. This did put me out as I wasn’t expecting a new yoga instructor at all. I also didn’t expect so many people turning up, since the sun has been shining beautifully in the sky as of late. So, I felt squashed by the huge crowd and there was a new yoga instructor to accustom myself to. I did my best to try and remain positive although being caught off guard and being out of my comfort zone, it wasn’t easy.

 

I was able to cope in the end but unfortunately I wasn’t able to relax, I was rather too intense to be able to chill out. It partly made me weary and initially I told myself that I’m not going to go next week. What if Callie isn’t there again? What if the room is going to be crowded again? But then, I listened to some Non Non Biyori music, had a bath, watched football, spoke to my family members and now I’m able to think rationally…

 

I was basically thinking too much. It’s that thing of when my imagination play tricks with me. What’s the point of anticipating situations that may or may not happen? One of the teachings of yoga, which I adhere too very passionately, is living in the moment. Don’t think about situations that may happen in the future. How do you know what will happen? Instead of anticipating moments, just handle those moments if they happen. And that philosophy is the kind of philosophy I’m trying to achieve with a smile on my face. =)

 

*

 

I’m really enjoying the World Cup. This is probably the best World cup in years, at least in my opinion.

 

I mentioned in my previous blog that I fear for England’s chances of advancing to the knockout stage. In their previous match they lost 2-1 to Italy.

 

It was certainly a valiant effort on their parts. Raheem Sterling looked very positive going forward, when he fired that shot in the third minute I honestly thought he had scored. XD We played decent Football, we had some good tempo going on and we closed Italy down at appropriate times. However, I felt that we fell short on the technical and mental aspects of the match. We lost focus at crucial times and perhaps got a little careless when giving the ball away. Perhaps fatigue came into play? When it came to passing I felt that Italy outplayed us in that regard. They’re all about technique and passing the ball around. Hopefully England would have learned from this and will do their very best against Uruguay tonight. =)

 

I’ve been invited to my sister’s house to watch the Football there. At this moment in time I feel like watching at home, but, instead of making a rash decision now I’m just going to see how I feel tomorrow. =)

 

COME ON ENGLAND! =D

Ryan